We wish everyone an easy and meaningful fast. Enjoy the following overview of our past Yom Iyun, written by Avigail Ruderman, 11th grade.
We all know that the Aseres Yemai Teshuva are a time for improving ourselves, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. This past Wednesday, the Mesorah girls had the opportunity to devote an entire morning to inspiration and practical advice for preparing ourselves to enter Yom Kippur.
The theme of our Tishrei Yom Iyun was “Growing Through Challenges and Helping Others.” Our first speaker, Rabbi Yehudah Abrams, addressed the topic of understanding relationships. He said that our purpose in life is creating a relationship with Hashem—this should be the primary relationship in our lives, and all other relationships will then revolve around it. We have interactions in life on three levels: with ourselves, with others, and with our Creator. When we can combine all three, we are on the ideal level of interaction. Communication is understanding the rules of a relationship. One practical application of this is Dan Lekaf Zechus—judging others favorably. It says in Pirkei Avos, “Hevei dan es kol ha’adam lekaf zechus—You should judge all of the person favorably.” This gives us an insight into how we can overcome our anger to be able to judge another favorably. We have to remember that we are dealing with a person—a rational, thinking human being. So, why would a rational, thinking human being do such a thing? By taking this approach, we can change our anger into curiosity, and find a merit for the person. On Yom Kippur, Hashem judges us favorably, and gives us the chance to completely wipe out all our aveiros if we only return to Him.
Rabbi Binyomin Stolov spoke next on the topic of facing and winning life’s challenges. We are always being put to the test, and our job is to win. When we don’t, our job changes to figuring out what went wrong and how we can improve ourselves so we’ll be able to win next time. There are two kinds of challenges: those we have control over, and those we don’t have control over. In the first case, we have to remember that any time we begin an action that has any benefit, we will initially desire to do it. Eventually, though, that will wear off. There will be times we want to continue and times we’re ready to give up. If we continue working, those days will pass, and we’ll again have the desire to continue. Neither frame of mind will last forever, and our job is to lengthen the times of wanting to keep working. But what about when it comes to challenges we have no control over? We have to remember that Hashem is the epitome of a merciful Father. Everything He does is for our best interests, even if we don’t understand why. We have to accept that which we can’t change, and turn to Hashem in Tefillah. Also, we should take the advice of the Mishna, and make sure we have a Rav, a friend, and a community that we can turn to in times of struggle. We can’t survive alone, but with a support system in place, we can overcome all challenges. We can’t give up. It’s not realistic to win every challenge, but to make the effort and do our best. When we suffer setbacks, we have to keep working, and we have to believe in ourselves, knowing Hashem believes in us.
Rabbi Nesanya Zakon spoke about nosei b’ol im chaveiro—carrying your friend’s burden with you. Emulating the ways of Hashem is the foundation of the entire Torah, and Hashem shares in the pain of Klal Yisroel. We also learn this lesson from Moshe Rabbeinu. When he was a shepherd, a sheep once ran away from the flock and he had to spend hours looking for it. When he finally found it drinking from a brook, Moshe Rabbeinu picked it up and said, “Oh, I didn’t realize you were thirsty.” He didn’t just take care of the sheep in his flock, he felt their suffering. Rav Elya Lopian ZT’L was another example of nosei b’ol. There is a famous picture of the Rav bending over outside in front of his apartment, setting down a bowl of milk for the cats. He saw their hunger and felt with them. One of the reasons nosei b’ol is so important is that the scariest thing in the world is being alone. When we are nosei b’ol with someone, we show them they’re not alone, because we share their pain. For the entire duration of World War II, Rebbetzin Kotler didn’t put sugar in her coffee. That was her way of doing something tangible to be nosei b’ol. We ended by taking upon ourselves to say “How are you?” once a day to someone and actually wait for the answer. It’s by small steps like this that we can grow in our middos.
Refreshments were served and everyone got a kit with things relating to the theme and articles on the topics we spoke about. We each got our own flowerpot and we planted flowers in them. Thank you to Rabbi Abrams, Rabbi Stolov, and Rabbi Zakon for inspiring us. A huge thank you goes to G.O. and our Yom Iyun Heads—Brocha Klein, Sarah Chava Reynolds, and Menucha Rodin—for all the work, time, and effort you put in to making Yom Iyun such a success.